we’d make great friends

or pets
as the song goes
if you’re going to put the dog out
at least get him a friend or a bark collar

i was dear friends with the previous owner
pause

i’m worried about the tree you planted
okay
it could cause damage to the water mains
expensive damage
okay
and it might be on our property
um
and
let’s exchange plats
that should clear up the second part
the first part is solved by observation
see that tree across our culdesac
same tree
much older bigger wiser
like me
water main ten feet away
no damage
20 or so years
by then all of us will be gone
you’ll take you two boys and a dog
your wife’s mother
to a bigger house
your will need a bigger house
and i’ll do you one more
even
here’s contract
signed
to indemnify you from any repairs
for as long as we both shall live
in these houses
welcome to the real world
where neighbors are your survival companions
during ice storms power outtages
passage from a nearby air bnb
through my back yard
oh sure
of course
no problem
just have them replant the tree
mother-in-law backed over
escalade sustaining damage
from the rock in the grass
ripping the top off one of three sisters
arizona blue cypress
about one hundred and fifty dollars for a 5 gal
yeah
that would be perfect
and have them leave a penny
each time they pass in shame
the guardian stone
defending against future
intoxicated
party jokes

12-28-23

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