must be hard to understand

i depart for many distant shores
away and apart
from you
pulling

spanish poetry
to architecture
loud rock music
porn pot playthings

i
must be hard to understand

what calls me for departure
a lack of sophisticated leisure skills
dull interests in the anti-arts
thrifting tv nytbestsellerlists
worry
and fear of conflict
leading to fear of flying
to
my silence
again

i have arrived on the cold and stone beach
in maine
where love came
love
died by self-inflicted
boredom

i will not wait around
for change to take place
book suggestion advice ideas
for crafting an interest
beyond escape

to
understand
even this
is key
i am loved
secure
still seeking

how
will
i
ever
arrive
if i am regenerating
new love poems
stretching toward goals
i cannot ignore or give up

01-15-24

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dall-e prompt for image: “an impressionist oil painting, smudgy and abstract of a poet reading a book and reaching toward a woman’s hand”