Life is a metaphor. Passing strangers trigger neuro-swizzles in our brains. Tapping into something cosmic, even if we’re unaware, unconscious, and uneducated. God is here for all of us. God is nothing. God is not to be comprehended through the church. That’s for people who lack creative connective imaginations.
Children talk to god all the time.
Like a conversation I was having at lunch yesterday with my sister and her son, “Just talk to her. Ask her a question. See if you get a response.” I was talking about Nana. I have started talking to her a lot more. Is she listening? Don’t know. Is God or god listening? I don’t think that’s how it works. I am listening. I am listening to the rich memory fabric of my mind when I speak to and about my mom. Speaking to her is much more fruitful. Now, when I’m watering the front garden, my mom is laughing and delighting at the frogs and spiders just like I am. She is with me. She is within me. She has never left me.
In my case, this psychic gave me that idea. I was asking about my sister. “Do you ask her questions?”
I do now. I talk to all of my ghosts. Or constellation of memories and sub-language patterns of life. She answers from that core of my soul. Is that heaven? Don’t know. What I think, and Jung outlined for me, is we are tethered to a collective unconscious. You can go sort that out yourself. But here’s the outline: all of life is a loop, a lazy river endlessly spinning and taking the guests around. The river provides cooling, momentum, and little else. The universe is the lazy river. As a human you are a guest on a float. For this human experience you experience life as a timeline. Your human timeline is important to you alone. Perhaps to the living people around you.
Your human timeline has no effect on god or god’s happiness. God is indifferent. God wants you to be happy, but he leaves the physical mechanics of living up to you. God can’t really fathom being a human, or pain, or loss. God is a bit like today’s ai models. The don’t understand the prompts (prayers) but they give what sounds like an authoritative answer. God doesn’t really answer.
My mom does answer. I don’t see or hear her voice. I feel warmth. I appreciate flowers and birds and bifdong. (Birdsong, misalignment of my fingers on the keyboard made a funny.)
How humorous it is to me, that my entire world is powered down. I hunt daily for wifi, power, and cooling. I am learning new survival skills. It’s hard to disable me. In my rare form, it’s hard to match me. I get that. I need someone that burns hot as well. If they get frightened and explode into flames and feathers, okay, I’ll find another partner.
Life is a lovely process. I can’t force the outcome I want. I must keep asking the universe and then letting go of the outcome. Just like inviting my daughter to breakfast. Only if it works for her. NP. No problem.
Let’s get to what’s important for me at this moment. Not just survival and making it through this cash crunch, but keeping the fire of urgency lit beneath my ass. I must write. I must keep submitting proposals for a publisher to make me famous. In the meantime, I have to keep up my own marketing game for survival money, but also to promote my creative work.
I am getting closer now. Forms have been submitted for taking Social Security benefits soon. My CPA is working on the response to the IRS. Another two grand. It’s going to unlock here. I feel the positive momentum has paid off. In spite of the failing physical space I am thriving. Only have to hold on for a few more months. May could be my escape month. Not to WFM this time, but to ease. Time. Space to write that is quiet, musical, and home to my two co-pilots, Sid and Hunter. This spaceship is fueled up, or will be as soon as the cash begins flowing again, and we’re off to the stars. Maybe the beach alone as soon as a Benjamin or two is put in the fun money account.
Please use ‘bifdong’ in a sentence.
His bifdong was dragging, but things were looking up for our protagonist.
Don’t you worry.
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Jill On the Beach by Gemini
“Since I can’t find her, I’ll create her with AI.”
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