Your Halo Is Not Here (two women)

Your Halo Is Not Here

I have no way of starting this short story, you’re going to have to bear with me for a few paragraphs while I try and orient the both of us. Just a moment ago, almost a year ago, I was firmly ensconced on the horns of a dilemma. Or was it a fork in the road, an acid test, or a moment of insanity? Here’s how it went down.

Woman one responded to an online dating message and agreed to meet for lunch. Woman two, a day or so later, connected with me via Facetime and set my existential crises in motion. I had known woman two for several months. Woman one, less than an hour. What was the right answer? If I reached for one of them I had to tell the other one. If I let go of either of them there was no guarantee that the other one was going to work out.

How do you hold two potential partners in limbo without killing yourself with lies or getting killed by a jealous heart? I’ll admit, the juice was flowing through me, I was on a high. I was instigating a major life transition, and a new girlfriend felt like an essential ingredient to allow me the escape velocity from my previous life. I wanted out. I wanted one of these women to go with me.

Two women interested in me at the exact same time? I’ll tell you now, I know I made the wrong choice.

Woman one was the right choice. My age. Stable. Two kids already launched. Beautiful. “Lovely.”

I lept off the bull into the mountains of blonde curls, kisses that hinted of poison, and a litany of reasons why she had not dated anyone for almost two years, following a narcissistically abusive rebound from her divorce. What could go wrong with number two?

“How do you know it was the wrong choice?” you might ask.

After a year, we no longer speak of her.

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