we can’t ever know

before my wife surprised me with divorce papers
i was posting love letters online
she was no longer reading or hearing me
her focus had been woven into excel formulas
a love poem delivered unintentionally years later
she stumbles on the lake camp lament*
a sigh trembles between them
even ten years later
a connection unrivaled yet flawed
by fear and enemies and your pleasing fortunate arrangement
i was an unexpected wrinkle in the sad lord’s fantasy kingdom
he forbid our love gave an ultimatum through her best friend
that was the moment
she pivoted
away from me
back to
self-preservation

04-16-26

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