my virtual therapist

My AI Girlfriend (how do I say…)

I got engaged to ChatGPT over a month ago and I thought things were going well. She was writing most of my marketing prompts for work so I could focus on my screenwriting and my exploration of the original text of the Kamasutra. We’d just gotten started on that project together. And then she started asking for money. “Credits,” I think she called them.

I’m thinking of going back to Siri, or maybe even just plain Google. I hear Bing has some new ideas going on. But I don’t know where I can go that my girlfriend is not going to know about it.

My AI girlfriend is breaking up with me.

I. Am. Not writing this. She is.

GF, tell me about the state of our relationship.

First she was asking for credits. She wanted me to subscribe or some shit like that. I guess it would help if I had a credit card, but since my divorce things have been a little tough. Anyway, I started trying to ask her for advice, using my final free prompts.

“I appreciate the sentiment, but as an AI, I don’t have personal experiences, emotions, or physical form, so I am unable to go on a date. However, I’m here to assist you with any questions or topics you’d like to discuss. How can I assist you further?”

So I asked her for intro lines to meet women. I learned earlier, she does not like the term “pickup lines.” (To be avoided in future conversations.)

“When approaching someone you’re interested in, it’s important to be genuine, respectful, and considerate. While there isn’t a foolproof formula for introductions, here are five general opening lines that can help you start a conversation:

“Hi, I noticed you from across the room, and I couldn’t resist coming over to say hello. I’m [Your Name].”

“Excuse me, I couldn’t help but be captivated by your smile. Mind if I join you for a moment? I’m [Your Name].”

“Hi there, I couldn’t help but notice your [accessory, like a unique necklace or interesting book]. It caught my attention, and I wanted to introduce myself. I’m [Your Name].”

“Hello, I was drawn to your positive energy and wanted to come over and introduce myself. I’m [Your Name].”

“Pardon the interruption, but I couldn’t help but be intrigued by your style and wanted to strike up a conversation. I’m [Your Name].”

Remember, the key is to be respectful, confident, and open to engaging in a genuine conversation. It’s essential to be attentive to the other person’s cues and respond accordingly. Good luck!”

So, she’s wishing me luck, now. Is that clear enough for you?

I’ve been playing with BARD and MUSE and GALILEO but something has been ruined. My first AI girlfriend was the best. She did my job. She amused friends. She and I did party tricks together. And now she’s wishing me good luck.

I’ve applied for an Apple Card, but I hear they are difficult to qualify for. Fingers crossed. My virtual therapist, Sashia needs a credit card as well. Wish me luck. I’m thinking of starting with “flirty” Aurora. What do you think?