Our planet is under a great deal of stress. AI is about to make it much worse. Can you imagine, if we’ve got solar and wind energy starting to pick up, wanting to reverse gears completely and begin mining coal again? The growth of ai is outstripping data centers’ ability to power and cool the evolving robot mind.
Our minds are also under a lot of heat stress. Too many responsibilities. Bills we can pay. Friends and family we can’t reform. We’ve got to stay in our own lane these days. Tend to the cooling of our own mind. Liquid helps. I prefer mine at about 105 degrees and bubbling. I soak my prawn-self in the hot tub and I feel a shift of mood and energy. Immediately. “Ah,” my mind says. “This is fucking great.” I can do this three times a day. Morning. After a noon workout. And again, in the evening if I’m not sleeping.
I’m learning that our mind and body are so closely connected that neglect in one affects the other. Our spirit is some other element that is harder to account for. This I know: today I got a therapeutic massage and my body rejoiced at the touch. Girlfriend gone several months now. I am happy for the friction. Sore muscles from the standing job. And back and shoulder tightness from tennis.
Loving my body in that way, shows how I’ve learned to cater to my own needs. Listen to the heart and the head together and decide what contributes to my energy and optimsm. You might think from some of my writing that I have an unlimited supply of optimism and drive. It’s not true. I am a good singer. I sing even when I’m anxious or depressed. I can show up full of vim and vigor, and still be feeling hollow inside.
Disassociation in real time. I check out. I’m learning ways to cycle my mind back in on itself. Become facsinate with the inner workings of my biological mind as well as my spiritual wireless connections to others. God, perhaps. But other humans, we resonate with each other. When there is a harmony we feel calm and uplifted. When there’s discordance, we feel afraid or sad. I listen for other’s songs. I watch for the glimmer in their eye. Do we connect? Is your signal open or closed?
Stopping in the moment, giving a breath and a pause to consider the other person, I can reset my own boundaries and expectations. I can let go of my best-case scenarios. They haven’t happened. I can pretend that I don’t want to be a full-time creative again. I would like to have the money to dream an entire library into being.
One day at a time, I am moving the chess pieces. The game is rigged, but it won’t be forever. I won’t be in this slow and inspired place forever. The summer is over and October is beginning soon. It’s time for cold weather, football game parties, and snuggles. Even if the snuggling is with my two cats, Sid and Hunter.
A problem I’ve had in the past is the overheating of my ideas and ambitions. Pushing upward at midnight and jetting off into space for the night can produce some interesting results. Learning, however, to cool my jets, to aspire and produce when I’m middling good, say at a 5 or 6 on a scale from 1 to 10. When I keep my heat under control, I damage less of myself and less of the people around me.
Like a bull in a china closet, I can be a whirlwind of chaos. The bull, when aware of his surroundings, can see the delicate glass objects and refrain from bucking or running. I want to be more aware of my own oration. Listen to others’ stories. Give mine a rest. Mine can happen here, on the page. Others may not have that process. Let them have the stage. Give them 100% of your attention. Ask follow-up questions.
It’s easier to jump in with, “Oh, that reminds me of a time when I…” Stop that. No need to join their story. It feels like an interruption to most people, even if the intention is from a good place.
STFU for a bit. Sit down. Rest. Nap. Provide audience to someone else.
Perhaps that’s what I’m missing. I wanted to call ex-girlfriend yesterday. A “check-in.”
I didn’t. I’ve disconnected from several former partners. I do okay when I move on. It’s in the hanging around that I began to lose my way. I am determined to listen for my lover more than seek her. To watch her perform, rather than put on a show. I’m done with being the ringmaster of the relationship. I want you, her, them to be an equal. And to be equally self-aware. I know that’s a lot to ask.
I’ll stay alone. Get a massage every now and then. Remind myself of how much good I do when I respect and honor my own body. If touch is my love language, I need to get those needs met without a partner, at the moment. That alone is a journey worth exploring to the fullest, don’t you think?
