i can see myself

i have been infected
against my better judgement
i find the thinnest youngest women
as they pass by the window
dreaming a dream of being a teenager
or young
she is well dressed
in running shoes and tights on her way
or some variation of nyc today
my vibe must be a bit odd
in a cafe
writing
drawing
i am not leering or losing my mind
i understand my affliction better
from this perch
where Bordaine sat just moments ago
my coffee is cold burrito too big
and the show
the show
show
me
have i been converted
from anything goes
to thinner blonder darker insane
i see trouble a mile away
and lean in
for a taste
always seems like an interesting idea
knowing i’m punching well out of my weight class
or range of motion
still
nothing but love
here
no predatory motions
just my cold coffee
and perhaps
a topo chico
prolonging the magic
listening breathing awakening
to this
all is good
all is as it should be
there is plenty of time
and hurry
is really anxiety
longing
maybe
not for her
not for now
i know the idea of her
is perfect
remains perfect
from my spot
today

nyc 2024

8-3-24

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