At the dawn of something. I’m free. I’m finally happy. Finally.
If my effort to find a partner, a soulmate, a lover, is energy I can recapture by releasing the idea once and for all, I can truly ascend to the next level. Earthly delights are now unlimited. I don’t need one woman, I need several, for different occasions. For intellectual stimulation. For love. For shared experiences.
This time, I’m falling in love with myself. The other person can be along for the ride, for the memory. Today, no co-pilot or navigator is necessary. The map ahead has been cleared of objectives. There is not target or destination. I have arrived.
I can’t say “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” That would be a lie.
I am happy.
I am hurting.
I don’t want to go to my shitty job tomorrow. But I will. I want to kiss the next woman that excites me, but I won’t. Time to retract the landing gear and soar.
I lack for nothing. The AC is working fine. My son is taking a new point of refuge for nine days. I can reboot my rocketship and make a new objectives list.
Here’s what I want right now
( )
That’s it. Nothing.
Replotting trajectories for tomorrow. Today is done.
