falling forward

i consume voraciously
excited by words sounds images
still
there is ennui
not enough minutes in the hour
to absorb one-half of one percent of
the books staring at me
libraries built and lost
rebuilt recrafted reimagined

in a heartbeat
i imagine my plan
days and nights in flagrante delicto
cultivating a loneliness
space and time
ocean shore
maybe greece or spain
*come with me to the coast*
i exclaim too early
she accepts
knowing full well that i’m crazy

what propels this diaspora of language
inside me
racing to get out
filling in more blanks of childhood dreamery
mining the chemical collections for gold
clues to my unhappiness
from an early age

here she is
muse sister lover poetess priestess
she wants my attention
but the sea the sea the sea
line by line
scraping barnacles
touching sex lighting pain loss images
past lives overlayed
oh this paradisiacal moment
losing you and your kisses
in this world
to letters and sounds bursting in me

loving a writer
a lonely business
messy moments
interspersed with silences
capture and recall
this life
and the constant observer trying to get it all down
the washes of waves
this life this girl this beach
a cold moment in maine
recalling younger kisses
a frigid water blowing like ac
in both worlds
greece spain maine
her

letters
only letters
tippity tappity across the screen
and the look on her face
coming in for the third kiss of the hour
birds sea day waking up in a cacophony
like my mind
seeking to catch
drops of jupiter

something is broken
she is not basking in the morning sun
hovering frustrated lonely for
me

5-11-24

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