deep learning

over time
i learned that my love
was big
effusive
effervescent
and occasionally too much
even for me

as i’ve grown
i understand my energy
to be puppy-ish
and some partners want a cat
so even as i’m pouring more into them
they are feeling overwhelmed
confused
like everything is going too fast

a dog in my life today
frodo
has taught me what i look like
to others
he is always there
always willing
first into the bed for a nap
always up for a snack
and looking for reassurance

as i’ve grown more into a man
i am learning to dial it back
and listen more
pause more
give my partner a moment
and the silence
confidence to breathe easy
and wait

even Frodo leaves the bed
when he’s bored or wakeful
he escapes to his red chair
for alone time
and rest
until someone else is awake

“look at this day, dad”
first let me have some coffee

give more than you think possible
and also give space
for the echoes of indecision
of a hand in hand
smiles all around
and the massive joy that comes
feeling
how deeply you are loved

7-13-23