I’m trying to wrap my head around a woman’s behavior, my inability to balance a checkbook, and the end of the world. A few balls in the air. Mix in a migraine headache and a broken date tonight. I’m not feeling the cognitive behavior creeping in. Romantic relationships (marriage, life partners, dating, and so on)
It’s the “and so on” that I think describes what’s happening with the woman. My own efforts to secure my IRS refund, my unemployment reimbursements, and gainful employment have thus far proven fruitless. But there’s no real threat. It feels like I’m going to die or lose my house, but things happen a bit slower in the real world. That other, that’s called catastrophizing. I used to do that a lot. I’m getting better. I work on my own cognitive or dialectical behaviors. I’m not sure what the difference is between those two words.
Today, at this moment, I don’t care.
Today, I’m going to skip the date, skip the drama, and stay here, writing in my comfy bed, with a cat or two wrapped around my feet. No woman, no cry.
She’s in a battle all by herself. I’d like to see how she marked that second life component as she filled out this workbook page last night. She sends me stuff like this. I’m like, yeah, this is what I do for a living. I’m a life coach. I coach couples on communication skills.
I’m also “lecturing” or “mansplaining” to her whenever I try to have a conversation about hurt feelings, anger, or why asking someone, “Why are you angry?” can be passive-aggressive.
I think she understands the idea. Take your own bullshit, hurts, and complaints offline, or risk blowing up your current partner for your old partner’s transgressions. I am doing all I can to lend her an ear. Do not give advice. And… well, staying in the “loving relationship” frame is hard when she keeps adding
Yet, I’m the anxious one? Sorry, not how this works. I was napping, not shutting her out. An hour of no text back and she’s breaking up, or dreaming of the breakup to come, or instigating the collapse of what little trust had begun to build between us.
Can you prepare for war and love at the same time? Can she be forced to negotiate with her husband and still be friendly to her lover? I thought there was a way. I guess I am willing to put a few more chasms between us.
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