Saying “I’m Sorry” Doesn’t Make it Better

Before my marriage went all to hell, I remember telling my then-wife, “I’m really tired of saying ‘I’m sorry’ all the time. It’s not working for me.”

Sorry, without a behavioral change is nothing but an excuse.

“I’m sorry,” my son says about not texting me back for a few days. And when he does text me, he’s asking for money. “Sorry,” I text back.

“I’m sorry I disappointed you,” I said all the time in my marriage. (Reminder: let’s not do that again.)

“I’m sorry, I’m moving out today, just like I said I would a month ago when I was asking you for a change.”

“I’m sorry Elon bought Twitter.”

“I’m sorry, I am not your emotional support animal.”

“I’m sorry if you don’t like me or my loud voice.”

Saying “I’m sorry” repeatedly in my marriage was a defense against the onslaught of complaints, threats, and requests. It became a joke. It quit providing any relief. I’m sure she was tired of hearing “I’m sorry” as well. But she kept pressing. Kept telling me she was unhappy.

She was very unhappy.

“I’m sorry.”

Now, she’s unhappy somewhere else.

“Not sorry.”