what is real after death? after love? after life?
a real-time hyperfiction experiment
free audiobook
The forest was filled with birds and light. Loving embraces from passing animals and humans. It was good.
Darkness came. The carousel fell into disarray. The liminal forest was different. What was confidence and calm became a sense of doom, forboding, and fear. The animals began acting differently. Withdrawing. Somewhat like a wounded ferril baby squirrel. Pulled, curled back into the corner, surrounded by habits and ghosts. The rhythm had been pulsed and inspired by the carousel. The neon lights that provided safety, now flickering and failing. The forest too was flickering and failing.
In the clearing, behind the carousel, a couple attempted a repair. To fix the carousel. Fix their relationship, which became dark and stormy overnight. They craved the innocent greetings and comforts of the kind forest and the kind flora and fauna. It was a desperate attempt to reboot, repower, reignite the carousel. And if possible, rekindle the fractured intimacy between them.
The rain poured down. The forest became cold and dangerous. As the two lovers struggled in the rain, hope was hard to come by. Someone was going to have to trek back to the city. Get help. Neither of them wanted to be alone.
The man had lit a small fire near the work. The woman was braiding the power cables back together. But, there was no juice. They would both probably be dead if there had been, what with the rain, the unsheilded power cables, and the small lake they were standing in. Thank goodness the power was out.
Except it wasn’t completely out. It seemed the carousel had battery-powered lighting. Even as it was still and dead, a few of the pink neon tubes still glowed or flickered. It was an erie scene. Like a dystopian sci-fi fantasy in a dark and stormy forest.
To survive, they had to split up. Or was that just fear talking? What if she came with him, back to the city. It would be more dangerous, putting her in harm’s way again. But… Then he wouldn’t be worried about her, she would be with him. “That’s a terrible idea,” she said.
He looked up into the rain. Give this moment a real “remember this forever” feeling. He was leaving her. He’d only found her a few weeks earlier, as the world was falling apart. Wars being started for profit and sport. World powers aligning against each other, so they could take the spoils of all the rest of the planet. Billionaires and oligarchs run the world now. It’s dark, it’s dank, and it’s not going to last. A resistance is already starting. Someone named Json and the CR8V Resistance. Maybe he could find out more about them while he went back to civilization to seek help.
Nothing was certain. All of life was hard and complex.
For a moment, he thought the woman could provide some nurture and comfort amidst the coming wars. She was a liability.
It was a hard fork in the road of their futures. Go alone, perhaps he would keep going, not come back. Discover the CR8V team. Help humanity resist the AI onslaught, powered by the enemy states and pedophiles. Or, he could take her with him, back to the city. A half-day hike. She was fit and healthy. That wasn’t the issue. She made him vulnerable.
If he let himself fall victim to love, he might lose his motivation. Why worry about the world, when I have all I need and the lover I’ve always wanted? It was tempting. Always tempting, the woman. Women. A partner. A dream. An idea boyhood goal. Find the woman. Keep her happy and well f’d. Fed.
This moment, he breathed in a deep inhale. “God’s way,” he whispered to himself. He was a southern Presbyterian boy after all. Holding his breath he imagined the pain of his life without her. He held onto the pain for 15 seconds. He released his body in a great sigh, exhaling, “Release fear.” Opening his eyes, he noticed she was crying.
“What have I done?”
“It’s not you, it’s me. I’m afraid. Afraid you’re not coming back.”
“Why would I lie to you?”
“Why can’t I come with you? Why do I have to stay here?”
“We’ve gone over this…”
“Yes, but what does it matter? Why is this place, this broken place, so important? Why don’t we both go to the city?”
“I can move faster…”
“Nope. I don’t buy that excuse.”
“Um, if there’s only one of us as risk…”
“Yeah, so you die or I die, who cares, right. End of story.”
“I don’t want to leave you, but…
“Don’t!” She cut him off. Put a hand up for him to see she was reaching out. “Look me in the eyes.”
He looked away. The sad carousel seemed to be a fitting setting for the end.
“You can’t.” She put her hand to his cheek and pulled his face towards hers. “Look at me. Don’t think about all the stuff out there, all the pain and war. Look at me. Here. Now.”
“I’m afraid…”
“Stop talking. Breathe. Look into my eyes.”
Restlessly, he looked for a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
“There you go.” (beat) “What do you see?”
“A woman.”
“And what are her eyes saying to you?”
They packed up their things after a short wrestling match in the dry area beneath a large oak tree. A moment of warmth and tenderness. up into the mountains behind the wounded carousel, headed for Las Vegas, New Mexico. Maybe they would find some help, get some answers, learn about the resistance.
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