Nothing On Pornhub (lesbian tendencies)

It’s true, what my girlfriend said the other day, “How can I compete with teenage lesbians?” She wasn’t wrong. She also didn’t understand the full impact of her question. There are those of us who use porn and the rest of you who say you don’t. Well, I believe that my girlfriend had never seen Pornhub or teenage lesbians. There’s still a lot to discuss.

Today, however, Pornhub is like a ghost town for me. Not one image or fantasy is connecting with my root chakra. Maybe it’s my age. Maybe my t-score is really low. Maybe it is something else. Maybe I’m over teenage lesbians. At one point in my past, I may have called myself a lesbian, but it was only a joke about my oral fixation.

It’s all fun and games until there’s nothing that can light you up. Maybe I need some drug intervention. Viagra. Fleshlight. Mistress.

Whoa, wait a minute.

Sex is just sex. Sex on Pornhub is like trashy reality television where they happen to take off their clothes and zoom in on the tasty bits involved. Lesbians are like cocaine. You can’t legally have it. And when you do have it, there is never enough. Just like lesbians for us white men, they are not really on the menu, and if you did get in bed with them, they would discard you and carry on with each other long after you’ve finished.

Nothing on Pornhub that’s of interest to me. Perhaps, I’m growing into this relationship thing. I’d rather have sex with a real girl. Sex with myself is fine, but it’s … Well, it’s full of forbidden fruits. But, it’s about as real as a Kardashian ass. As in, not very real.

So, when the fake sex place has nothing to offer you (me) perhaps the transformation is complete. Into a middle-aged man. Into a well-connected partner. Into a heterosexual (not lesbian).

Oh well, perhaps I’m gay.

Read more Short-Short Stories from John.