not going

it might be the in-between times that are hardest
adrift in ordinary nothingness
no spark of a song or letters causing me to dance
a mind not resting really
worrying perhaps
this is not the way i had hoped

it can feel like death when the world loses its shine
no big deal
right
just be an ordinary citizen
do what you are supposed expected required to do
no jumping off the grid walkabout dreams
not at this moment

i rail against the pause
though i know ebbs and flows are to be expected
*but*
coming off a long burst
can require a reset reevaluation reinvigoration
breathing calmly
thrashing less
accepting the dull

4-26-24

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