Moms-Who… (funny or die)

You’ve been roused by the “moms who…” memes running all over the social medias, admit it. They are kinda funny. And they are kinda sad about our state of affairs. I don’t even need to provide you links or real names, you already follow their accounts. They drink wine, they swear, the drink tequila, they gather to drink with other moms who. There’s little mention of the inebriation that’s affecting their attitude, liver, and kids. But hey, kids are tough. “Get up and brush it off. You’re fine.”

The die part, that’s not used for humor much. But all this drinking and swearing and letting their kids run amok in the playroom. Well, let’s just say, it results in a lot of Lego(tm) yelps. When you step on a Lego(tm) at 3 am on the way to the bathroom in your girlfriend’s rented house and “faaaaaaack that hurts!”

So, let’s drink, meme, and forget our problems or mortality. Much easier to bitch, moan, and pull a cork. A collective of moms-who is called a cluster. A man who wanders haplessly into a conversation with moms-who is a cuckold. A man who tries to use love and logic is a pig.

I’ve had a few tweetups with these gals who guzzle and nuzzle. It devolves to krav maga eye pokes and crotch shots fairly quickly. They are trained to fight as one, and there are no rules. There is the moms-who rule, but other than that…

There’s one group, like the Lady Navy Seals of social media, know as single moms. They’re mad, they’re funny, they’re entitled, and it’s hilarious. Unless you’re not a single mom. If you’re a single dad, well, fuck you too, bud. I know you think I’m being a bit hyperbolic. Am I right? It means over the top.

I could show you the scars. I’ve still got screenshots before the Facebook Group Owner took down the entire chat. And my articles are still posted on their websites. I keep it low-key now. I don’t need that animosity. Why fight a fight when you were explicitly not invited? Why fight for 50/50 custody when the United States generates a lot of revenue from child support enforcement departments? Let’s not get into that, for now.

Moms-who are hilarious. A chip on their shoulder, maybe. A glass in their hand, for sure. Beyond that, who cares, we’re all loaded and letting things go.

*today’s google doodle is Kitty O’Neil, America’s first stunt woman.

and just for fun here are the Google results for “dads who”

Read more Short-Short Stories from John.