May You Be Happy

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My first run at being a cashier came almost ten years ago. I had just broken up with an alcoholic and was living at my mom’s house, a single bed in her guest room. I knew I was in for a fall so I reached out and interviewed for a position at a local fancy grocery store. I got the gig.

I needed to get up, face the day, greet and serve the customers. No matter how I felt. That’s one of the great lessons of zen. Chop Wood, Carry Water. No matter how you are feeling (moods can control too much of your life), wash the dishes anyway. Action is a form of moving forward. Thinking about taking action is a form of procrastination. In terms of being depressed, it’s a form of self-abuse. We learn to isolate when we’re feeling down. We don’t want to be seen. Working in a retail environment on the customer-facing side, you have no choice.

“Hi, how are you? Did you find everything you were looking for?” (smile no matter what)

At first, I didn’t think I would pass the interview. Then, I didn’t think I could stand on my feet for 6 – 8 hours at a time. It’s amazing how our human bodies can adapt. Grow stronger when given the resistance of a task or job.

I was also studying mindful meditation as a way to survive and transform my sadness into acceptance. I came across Sharon Salzberg’s wonderful mantra.

“May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be happy. May you live with ease.”

I began silently chanting this before each customer arrived. A form of prayer and meditation. A transformation of my bitterness and shame into something grateful and humble. Being of service. Checking out their groceries. Giving them my attention.

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