Listen to the Sound of My Voice

I’m going to try and tell you how confident and happy I am right now. Money is good. The lack of viruses and poxes is good. Girlfriend and love life, yep, check, all good.

Behind all the bravado and excitement about the yes in my life, there’s something not entirely well with the state of Denmark. There’s a skull in my bed and I’m not sure if I killed someone, if I’m killing myself, or if I’m making it all up.

Waking up at 2:13 am in a panic, I am unclear about what the threat is. It’s money, it’s love, it’s depression, it’s work. Probably work. Work stress. The edge of the unknown in a new job. A new *BIG* job.

It’s not that I can’t do it. But, I’m not that interested in doing it. I’d rather fk around with my tv show, my blog, my podcast, my record album, my band… Oh crap, I’m doing my best not to get out over my skis. We know how that ends. Badly.

My voice is strong in my Zoom calls and on Facetimes with my girlfriend. My support for my daughter recently was over-and-above.

Somewhere, I’m seeking a doctor’s note to get me out of my responsibilities. I can hear myself talking with enthusiasm and confidence. I can hear a waver underneath my argument. Illuminating ghosts of past failures.

Read more Short-Short Stories from John.