liminal

i keep repeating the same mistakes
in love
life
i’ve fallen out windows backwards
lived to write about it
done the same damn thing
woke up
back in the tunnel
hoping the light this time
lasts more than three years
or three weeks
maybe my aspirations are too high
too low
i should stfu
and stop trying so hard
this time
maybe this time
i’ll wait
give her the lead
take messages and parameters from all interested
parties
well
no
that won’t work
obviously
i’ll die of old age
probably fat
i’ve seen skinny old men
that is not for me
i’m going to rush into the next burning building
look around a bit
make a dumb error
give up the crazy one with lips of intoxicating poison
seeking
to have a good time
period
silence

nope
that will never work
i seriously cannot shut the fuck up
ever
play the quiet game with me
i already lost
wanna play double or nothing
damn
again
the mood in the tunnel tonight is a bit
liminal
everything that is about to happen
if
i
don’t
pause
slow my roll
exhale
all that is lost
just now
this very second
i
am
at peace
alone
at
2:28 pm

3-09-24

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