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lean in and or away

lean in and or away

in my biological mind
i seek the levers of control
up and onward
spiral of loss
middle ground
or the appearance of normal
droplets of logic
sprinkled in with pattern recognition
and multiple centers of locution
i parallel process with you
if i can slow down
a pause pill would be good
and flame-retardant wings
a father-son dynamic on infinite repeat

one : me
zero : dad
minus one: son

my psychic feed
plussing
or subtracting
energy
love
pulses
arrhythmic
blood ox
variability
beat by beat
a non-binary moment
continues
infinitely
doubling back on us
underneath this dream
bound to time
until we vaporize or sleep forever
starlight still on a journey

12-24-23

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