i unfold myself too quickly

to me
they were natural expressions of my love life and living
to her
they were overwhelming
or perhaps her training and daily work
with needy second graders
offered her a defense
no i don’t want to read your book on dating
or be in one
exactly
they are mostly about lost relationships right
i want to know the real you
in realtime
now
i want to know that it was me
who initiated the first kiss
and me
who controlled the flow

that’s not how i work
my complexities
not neatly disciplined
routines measured
lead by limitations
i am limitless
i breathe oceans of love
for breakfast
hours before you have opened your eyes
i see that now
your eyes are still opening
to this loss
a miss
on a windy and chilly day in march
i am nearby
departing
you
sleeping
restlessly remiss
unable to retreat
or rebound
into an unguarded moment
i will wait you out
probably the best strategy
to avoid damage
on either side

3-09-24

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