her essence

for a while i could not get her out of my mind
how to get back to paris
i didn’t know her name
only kissed her once
saw the eiffel from her cramped apartment
it was gay times
college exchange student walk about
eurail pass
starting in france
the trains the trains the trains
took my mind off of her
what i wanted to pretend happened between us
as i raced toward the coast of spain
away from
into
the unknowing youth of adventure

years later
married with children
i could not fathom the courage
of the young man
leaping into countries
broken spanish and an expected english degree

oxford brasenose college was the destination
spirit of place in british novelists
lawrence
the *collector* guy
a middle-aged professor with a dh-ish dark beard
guiding us along
explicit paths into the woods
a day trip took us into
his world
his darkness and struggle

dh lawrence ranch in new mexico
was never owned by the writer
the shrine erected to hold his ashes
contains none of them
he died with little acclaim
penniless
a dream of an artist’s colony
furnished the house the land the quiet place to write

3-02-24

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