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There are going to be people in life who rub us the wrong way. It’s not always clear what the trigger is, but we can feel our ire rise up when they are nearby. What is angry within us will project onto others. It can be so many things, it’s up to you to explore your frustration to understand how you’ve been hurt, overlooked, triggered. With that awakening you can take action to behave differently, to protect yourself from your own bitterness.
Internal anger at someone has been described as “Drinking the poison and hoping the other person will die.” That’s about it. When hate infects you it makes you sick. It is best to dissolve the anger with awareness and thoughtful redirection.
On the flipside, there are going to be people who trigger a warm response as well. People you vibe with. Someone who gets you will light up when they see you come on for your shift. You can feel it. They can feel it. You like each other. You are genuinely glad they are at work during your shift.
My “dua lipa” friend, who is also one of my many managers, has become one of my champions. That means he’s looking out for me and my best interests. Sort of.
Here’s where things get a bit more nuanced. Let’s say your doing well in your role, you’re getting feedback that customers and management like your energy. During the course of work you get sick and have to “call out” for two days. When you return to work, with the note from the doctor’s office, essentially an adult excused absence or “doctor’s note.” In chatting with one of my managers, I handed them the doctor’s note.
“The doctor’s office suggested I take today off as well, but two days is enough time-off for me.” I gave him my doctor’s note.
A few weeks later, in a different conversation I learned that I was underwater on my UPT (unpaid time off) or unexcused sick time. This manager said, “Dang! I didn’t know you were underwater. Well, it’s the end of the month too. When this comes up it might be grounds for separation.”
Granted these were two different managers: the one who gave me the “thanks for the doctor’s note, but it really doesn’t do anything” and the one who essentially said, “dang, you might be fired for this.”
His sense of urgency was not engaged. He was busy and wanted to get on to the next managerial duty on his list. He was not helpful. He didn’t show me, or suggest to me how I might remedy the situation.
I only learned a few days later, as my anxiety was burning, that my doctor’s notes could be entered as “protected” time off. I would not be negatively affected by my documented illness. How is it my friendly manager overlooked my peril? How is it the team leader didn’t advise me on how to fix my issue?
Well, it’s up to me. I allowed my anger and frustration to cool before addressing the issue a few days later. And with a few strokes of the keyboard, a third manager showed me how to submit my doctor’s notes as “protected time off.”
This morning my online team account still says I’m underwater. I can also see where my doctor’s note has removed 2 of the days, it just hasn’t been updated in the system.
Here are the key takeaways:
- General dislike of someone (customer, teammate, manager) is usually due to something inside me. I can deal with that and reset my approach to this person.
- Even your friendly managers may not protect your career or look out for you. They are busy too.
- Systems for “time off” are structured to punish and remove bad employees. If you are a star, keep your optimism up AND most importantly, take action to remove any negative remarks on your file.
I’ll see you soon in the checkout lane!
[Listen to the Deep Dive explore the concepts of The Happy Cashier.]
The hope I see in others
becomes the hope I have for myself,
my life, and my own journey.
– The Happy Cashier
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ALT: Botisatva’s Bookshelf | The Happy Cashier Podcast
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