Discovery (core drive)

discovering sex

Discovery (core drive)

I discovered my penis at an early age. In a surprising development for a kindergartner, my trip down the sidewalk lying on the skateboard brought unexpected pleasure. I had a new obsession. Recess became an exploration of solo-pleasure and fruitless sporting fun.

According to Freud, I was introduced to the primal drive of the phallus, at the tender age of five. This would inform my future curiosity. Future fantasy. Future adoration of women and perhaps obsession. Who’s to say?

The next big adventure into the secret garden of the vagina came in the form of a book, “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask.” I somehow managed to buy this book at a gas station on the way home from the beach. I was in 4th grade and a reader. I became a scientist of love. This book brought a new permissiveness to pleasure and exploration. And when my best friend at I found a large packing box full of Playboy and Penthouse magazines. From that day onward I was like a book-informed detective looking for potential partners. I wanted to move beyond self-touch to stroking breasts and the back of necks while I tried to kiss and woo nearby sixth-grade girls.

It took a while before I found my first experience. She was the new girl in seventh grade. Taller, more exotic, and more fully formed than any of the known girls. She was unknown and interested in kissing. I attained vaulted status by girlfriending the new girl. I told stories to my football buddies, some of them true. I got a reputation for being a lady’s man.

I don’t think that moniker has the same meaning at sixty. Yes, I’m still on the adventure into dark moist recesses of my *one* woman.

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