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Let’s face it, there are a lot of aspects of beauty for both men and women. Women are typically more sexualized than men, and their beauty is often highlighted or accentuated by this sensual aspect. Men are more judged by their physical fitness and smile. It’s not so much about their abs as their package of winning smile and a semi-fit physical presence.
In our store we have many beautiful people. There are fitness gyms and yoga/aerobic studios nearby so we get a lot of people in workout gear, both before and after their sessions. In this lifestyle, high-end groceries, fitness, and beauty, the customers in my store rival any people watching location I’ve ever known. I try to be an observer. I am learning about my own tastes and dislikes, as well as attempting to understand the dance we’re all doing, both here in the grocery store, as well as in relationships to each other. There are also plenty of alt partnerships passing through, also providing a rich tapestry of humanity.
Here are a few of my observations.
Women who are beautiful express their confidence is a different way then women who are merely pretty. Fitness is one of the ways a woman can move up the attractiveness scale, hyperfitness. The beautiful people have an aura around them. We want to look at them. They invite our attention and dress for the occasion. Men of beauty typically show up in one of two ways: 1. uber-fit masculine (usually wearing a gym t-shirt); or 2. semi-fluid rockstar with golden curly long hair. (Robert Plant types) Both are interesting to observe.
I try and set my own relationship within this context. I am semi-fit, athletic, and engaged in creative work. I am also 62 years old, and the majority of our “hot” crowd are between 20 and 50 years old. It’s rare that someone my age strikes a “wow” moment, but it happens. I don’t think I’m a “wow” but I do think I’m a “hmm.” As in, I wonder what else he/she is into, let’s have a conversation.
Physical beauty can also be a liability. The most beautiful of the beautiful women are sporting massive diamond rings. It’s almost as if the ring is a warning to all observers, myself included, to not get the wrong idea. “I’m sexy as hell, yes, but I’m not interested in you.” I get it. I’m not sure wearing that suggestive gear (men or women) is just a tease or a flex.
As I circulate within the store, around and among the beautiful people, I am drawn to one thing. Presence.
These people are aware of their good fortune in life, they won the good-looks lottery. From there, they have developed into kind and empathetic people. The arrogant and proud seem to be advertising their looks, their physical manifestation of genes and hard work, and daring you to approach them, or engage in a conversation.
A truly beautiful person (aware of unaware of their nearness to a 10) has a humble attitude and a generous approach to others.
There is enough for all of us, they seem to say. Our conversation is easy and playful. The overly self-conscious customers have more of an impatient or angry edge. They huff at the long lines during the 5 pm get-home-with-dinner rush. They seem impatient at even having to do something as mundane as getting groceries.
Be genuine regardless of your position on the beauty scale. Be generous with your attention and your kindness.
[Listen to the Deep Dive explore the concepts of The Happy Cashier.]
The hope I see in others
becomes the hope I have for myself,
my life, and my own journey.
– The Happy Cashier
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