You’re not going to believe this. You know Nvidia, right? Just before the entire world blew up with AI and ChatGPT I was hired as the liaison between Nvidia and Dell. You know who’s killing the market for putting shiney boxes around the H100, Nvidia’s flagship GPU? Dell. But there was a hitch.
I was speaking to my mom the evening of my first day on the job. The biggest job I was ever given. It was a lot. The runway was short, the learning curve was HIGH. I was telling her about all that I’d learned. How excited I was to be on the cutting edge of technology again. She didn’t really understand it all, but we had a lively conversation. Then we talked about her. She was looking forward to going out to lunch with my sister the next day. She didn’t like leaving the assisted living facility, but she was looking forward to the gourmet burger place.
A few hours after our call, she phoned the front desk staying she was having a hard time breathing. And that was it. My phone began lighting up with an unknown phone number about 9:45. When my sister called, I picked up. “She’s gone. She died quietly, trying to get ready for bed.
Everything stopped.
I did not want to be alone with this devastating blow. I called my ex-girlfriend and went over for comfort. It was the right decision at the moment. Long-term, it would prove to be quite painful as well. I was in freefall. We didn’t speak much. She held me until I fell asleep. I woke the next morning alone, she had relocated to the room of stars.
Here’s the thing. I tried to get my mind engaged in the AI presentations and future state plans Dell had in mind. I was at the epicenter. My former colleague and now boss was a bit unhinged on a software development project he had been building for the sales team. I held my breath for two weeks. Wrote my mom’s obituary. Contemplated my life. Imagined her final release as comfort. She was now with Jesus and the family who had gone on before her. Who knows. Who the fuck knows.
After two weeks I put in my resignation. My friend asked me to take another two weeks and reconsider, unpaid, mind you. I sat in my crappy apartment trying to find a light. I found nothing. My kids were still in town and rallied around me a bit. Played some music with my son one evening.
I was floundering. No solid ground under my feet. I tried staying engaged with the powerful growth and expansion of AI and Nvidia’s lead position in the race. If I could’ve stayed if my mom hadn’t died, if… Whatever. It’s what happened. I lost my Nvidia/Dell role and slipped under the surface of my ex-girlfriend’s semi-inclusive support. I knew I was not staying with her. I knew I was using her as a bandaid. I think she was fine with it. Then, I started falling back in love with her. She did not reciprocate.
As she left for Montana and Hawaii on vacation with her son she said, “I’m not making our relationship a priority this summer.” Um, yeah, I know.
It was hard to let go. I tried to be mindful. I tried to find patience for myself and my ex-girlfriend. I wanted my nightly check-in calls with my mom. I wanted her to be okay. We all wanted her to be released to heaven. That was her request. “I’m ready to go if He would just take me.”
He did. Nearly took me with her.
One sidebar, however. A little while ago, I invested all of my cash in Nvidia. My two recent jobs had given me the AI bug and I knew Nvidia was going to lead the revolution. I was lucky. Somehow, my mom’s death and then money crushed and revitalized my Nvidia journey. All that’s left is for them to hire me directly.
Amen AI, Nvidia, and mom.
the one and the zero: > next | index
checkout the playlist for all audible chapters
