Alexa Is Running the Show (adverse intelligence)

Alexa is everywhere. “She’s so much better than Siri,” says my techno-joyful friend.

He shouts, “Alexa, play the Beatles.”

“Playing Beatles and Beatles-like artists.”

“Alexa, play the Beatles.”

“Playing the Beatles.”

“Alexa, lower the volume!”

Nothing. “Money can’t buy me love,” croon the Beatles at full volume.

“Alexa, lower the volume!”

“Can’t buy me love… Say you don’t need no diamond rings…”

“Alexa, lower the volume!”

He walks over to the offending device and hits the volume-down button. “It was lower in the rest of the house,” he said.

It’s not like he’s ever far from his phone. “Just running it from Spotify works pretty well,” I offer.

And I notice over the course of the next few hours that his is sort of Alexa-ing his dog and his cat, barking orders in an authoritative voice. Most of the time they respond, but not always with the desired behavior. His conversation with the trio of attendants is like a constant burble of talk. He exclaims, “Biden is in the Ukraine.” I’m reading a book, so I don’t respond. Later, “The reviews of the new Hybrid Lexis are really good. Five stars.”

I know what he’s talking about. I don’t care about Lexus ratings, though I assume the 5 stars is the top of the scale.

“Daytripper,” sing the Beatles. He’s moved into his workshop and the sound of power tools wafts into the living room where Alexa, the dog, the cat, and the Beatles are carrying on. And there’s a loud bang from the workshop. Alexa pauses the music listening for further instructions. The dog jumps up to explore the activity. The cat and I feign indifference.

“It took me so long, to find out what I found out.”

Read more Short-Short Stories from John.