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Hear the discussion of this chapter free on YouTube: Actively Waiting
The iChing is an ancient Chinese divination system of 64 hexagrams. Over various courses of my life, I have used it more as a reflecting pool. Come to the book with a question, get a parable, a poem, some Art of War-type wisdom. Often, this gestalt is just what I need to break up my liminal fear. I am occasionally afraid of being in an unproductive and in-between state.
Today, in my mind, I am well underway with my transformation out of the Happy Cashier role. The timing is going to be up to others. I have put the feelers out this morning about the two live opportunities to see if I can nudge them along. Also, to show my persistence.
We shall see what transpires over this shortened week.
In the times I’ve used the iChing, one of the hexagrams I throw often is #5, Waiting.
To me, this koan means that during a downtime (in the night following a great battle) the common man rests. The wise man actively plans and explores next options until the next move becomes clear and inevitable. You will know when it’s time to go.
I am in the same state. I will not pause in my job. I will try and keep my excitement under wraps. My excitement to leave, that is. I can still maintain my joy at being of service. Providing a momentary engagement that could offer connection and conversation if the customer is open. I’m getting better at just being quiet and letting them lead.
Repeat customers sometimes seek me out. We continue conversations about bands, or types of guitars, or aspirational politics, as they return to my line for more. I am building temporary friendships with the customers and colleagues. I will not be sad to leave. I will be happy to get a livable wage. I will miss the people watching and the 20% discount on good stuff. Perhaps the job upstairs will come through.
I return to the store today at 1 pm. It is now 9:47 am, and I’ve already had a full day. Breakfast with my son and my daughter this morning was quite pleasant. Fun, almost.
I’ve got three hours before I turn back into the happy cashier. I am not waiting, I am actively waiting. I’ll do some more writing, maybe work on a new song that began to emerge yesterday, and I will apply for another 20 jobs before I go in for my $16.32 an hour job. I am joyful. I am rested and clear from my day off. Hopeful. Optimistic. Those two traits have carried me through a lot of struggle in my life.
Here I am. Paused in the moment. Enjoying the moment. Anticipating the change ahead.
The other name for the iChing is The Book of Changes. Check it out sometime. You might find a new way of reflecting on your life, your decision, and your future action. From this part of the morning, I’m as happy as I could possibly be. Everything in its right place. I am here.
See you in the checkout line in a few hours.
[Listen to the Deep Dive explore the concepts of The Happy Cashier.]
The hope I see in others
becomes the hope I have for myself,
my life, and my own journey.
– The Happy Cashier
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