almost touching – three slow graces part 1 – a poem

almost touching – three slow graces part 1 – a poem

Almost Touching

The words are scary.
I can’t talk about this.
The grass is green outside.
Each minute ticks on the watch
echoes off my earlobes.
A day full of flowers
pickup trucks passing
outside my window.
My mind wanders.
I am avoiding the subject.
A family member.

Detached.
Cats lick themselves
wait for more food.
His car is bright red
always waxed.
Sports car:
smashed every night.
See, I can’t be honest.
The pain.
There is no tea in the cup
just a dry bag.
Sun bounces off
the reflective film.
I’m always tired
liking to read in bed.
His drinking
used to scare me.
Now I drive myself.

The air-conditioning
vent rattles.
I mean, he’s my brother.
Webster’s Instant
Word Guide on the table.
My father is dead.
And the blue dish
holds too many GrapeNuts.
Piles of clothes growing.
It rained last week.
Sometimes headaches
put me out of commission.

Moments fall
one after the other.
This sentence is just here.
My sister is dead.
There’s no collecting
loans from friends.
The lies here are killing me.
Screaming can be healthy.
It feels like an icepick
is sticking in
just above my right eye.

Appropriate.
Family and friends
can’t be objective.
The handicap of a dead father.
Prose poem or poet’s prose?
My bike was stolen over Christmas.
Something isn’t working.
The pipes froze.
There is dust.
My wife looks good
in black hats.
Whatever.
I can hear the cat
drinking water
out of the toilet.
He won’t talk.
Even through the 3M tint
on the windows
you can still see the stars
at night if the lights are out.
I didn’t invent any part of this.
The city is closed.
Writing disconnects.
Cat food smells bad.
There’s a sad second.

She’s sleeping next to me.
A dense inductive night.
3 am.
Birds don’t come to the feeder at night.
Birds don’t come.
Climbed into bed
couldn’t begin to sleep.
I write.
I get further from the truth.
Invisible barriers, invisible trees.
My foot is touching her smooth leg.

He is alone.
Silent star burning bright.

three slow graces – john mcelhenney
© 1990 john mcelhenney, all rights reserved

GO NEXT to Three Slow Graces – Part 2

 

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