my momentum of desire – a poem

my momentum of desire – a poem

if we could’ve made it to the fall
the the cooling of days
falling leaves and fires burning
maybe we could’ve snuggled
another 100 Sundays
enjoying the slow coffee luxury
of being in love

but the twisted and tumbled blankets
began to tighten around our hearts
as things unspoken began to arise
there was no holding that could
quiet your nervous heart
with ghosts of broken promises
there was no better man i could be
no filling in from the outside
to tame the flutter
as stutters continued to disrupt
each string of happy hours
and you asked for a moment
and fell into the movement
out and away

letting go was the only action
i still had control over
accepting the loss and loneliness
as it swept into the room
turned the pillows cold
and the darkness
still not dark enough

as this Sunday arrives
with a gust of cold air
it is you i would like to be reaching towards
to hold and kiss
and from this side of the morning
i can feel the hope we had
in arm-in-arm couples
walking up the streets
enjoying the crispness
that signals heavier blankets
and embraces ahead
the cool does not bring
sadness or regret
though my momentum of desire
is being recalibrated
emotions and intentions
rerouted
the loss of my heart’s target
is only a stanza break
a restart with a new line
a new adjective
as the winds change to the east
and the days shorten
towards the cold nights
to be shared
with someone
new

9-23-18

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