mostly happier – a poem

mostly happier – a poem

she is in a space between
an in-between time
in a nascent love affair
and distance has its advantages
and perils
i’m not sure she’s clear
on what she’s asking
or complaining about
but i cannot rise to the occasion
not give chase or chastisement
and it’s better
if we coast a bit
in our separate beds
remembering our desire
in the alone time
and spaces after cuddles
and before reassurance
and i’ll wait
and give it time
to settle in
that things are fine
all is right with the hearts
attached and removed
and frustration is okay
heated desire is okay
lack of trust is not okay
so i back off
and smooth down my own feathers
give myself the reassurances
of what is known
and what is to be discovered

isn’t that the joy
the anticipated departures
together and apart
as this is one big
departure
from the world we knew
before we touched
and pierced
some
unguarded
moment

isn’t this distance
just the trick
to bring us closer
warmer
more considerate

as if to say
i don’t need you
i desire you
and want you
to be happy
alone
but mostly
happier
with me

5-31-18

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