i trapped myself today – a poem

i trapped myself today – a poem

in such a short time
you have forgotten
how my arms felt around you
how warmth built, spread, and fired
into more
than an ache soothed
more than an itch scratched
an infinite distance
this space between us
when you go dark
or angry that i missed
you
r
ask
for closeness
that sounded like a trap
an obsession
a grasp or holding
that would not have worked
for either of us
but it was enough
to unsettle the
delicate balance
of love
we had accomplished
moments before you stepped
towards the airport
and out of my car
i can’t ask
for more
from you
as i ask for less
because
we are now apart
in love but in stasis
by the spaces between our texts
and letters don’t do it justice
the welling of the heart
and heat at the memory
of lips on lips
and hands growing bolder
as we searched for and found
escape in this connection
between our orbiting bodies
magnetically bound
by tides of blood
and strains of music
all afternoon long
as you slip away
again
into family matters
too close to share
just yet

6-2-18

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