burns away – a poem

burns away – a poem

there is a hole
where she used to be
no puppy can fill
no pillow warms
like the smell of her
the smooth touch
and 5000-watt smile

and i can let go
if i feel the feelings
own up to the loss
not bury the emptiness
where her hand
used to rest
on my chest
as we fell asleep
and dreamed ourselves
into something lasting
and true

an easy release
was not the goal
but today i give thanks
to the heart that cracked
me open
listened
indulged
soared
loved

yes, it’s easy to say it now
that love was apparent
in our movements
ecstasies
as desires that had synced
and fallen into rhythm

alone the song is slower
and beats must be sought after
but the memory of her
warmth and care
illuminated my scars
filled something broken
and gave me back my courage
to love fiercely
act courageously and without limits

for in abandon
we find what is real
what is essential
and what is not
becomes painfully obvious
and either burns away
or is burned up

9-26-18

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